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24 February 2012

February 24, 2012

“This has been Bridget Jones for “Sit Up, Britain”….with, let’s face it, a bit of a crush now, actually.  Good afternoon.”

– That’s all I could think of yesterday in class as I sat inches from Ward Six Council member, Tommy Wells.  I had the stupidest grin on my face upon his entering the classroom – an hour late! – and when I asked a question my voice when to dog whistle pitch 😦  My mind immediately turned back toward thoughts of obtaining office.  I felt 12 years old all over again.  Except, the unreasonable idealism wasn’t there.  I guess, once the cynicism creeps in, complete idealism can never return.

Almost as quickly as I had these thoughts, my mind started talking me out of them.  As long as you’re not an elected official you can complain about government and swear if you were in office you’d surely do things differently.  Once you’re in….well, you can still complain, but the amount of frustration that must come hand in hand with being an elected official with altruistic aims.  I mean, Tommy  (yeah, we’re that close) was very blunt about the current council and the realities of inside politics.  He even addressed the greater emotional difficulty he faced as an elected official than when he was director of the consortium for child welfare – you are responsible for so much more….

But the adrenaline rush pursuing political office brings….

All things considered, I just want to finish school and get this Advocacy Specialist at my beloved Miriam’s Kitchen and go from there and let life take me where it will.  Listening to Tommy talk about his post MSW living….listening to any 50/60 year old talk about the road to where they are…it really brings my anxiety peace because it really does seem things do fall in to place.  Certainly one must be proactive and assist the process, but anxiety and worry do little except turn your hair grey or cause it to fall out.  Maybe take a few years off you’re all too short and fragile life.  Yet, it is so difficult to keep the worries at bay….which is why, moments in which you’re feeling connected and in step with the Universe are so wonderful.

I have no clue what is to become of me after my last class on 26 April, but that’s really exciting – I, more or less, have the whole world at my door step.  Instinctually I say: no I don’t.  I’m too old for the whole world.  But, that’s not true.  It’s never too late to live the life you want.  It gets more difficult as you age – but it truly is never too late.

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