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August 2011

August 31, 2011

To keep with my “at-least-one-post-a-month” thang, here we go….

I actually had quite a bit I could have blogged about this month, and quite a few times I wanted to blog – but the last blog I posted resulted in a bit of drama and, unfortunately, has kept me from posting.  That is not aligned with how I choose to live my life and is troublesome to me.  But when your hand touches the fire, you tend to stay away from flames.  Not that this was exactly such a case….

I am back in DC, well I am currently in Silver Spring at Bill’s.  After 4 cancelled flights, the 5th took off two hours delayed and two days after my first scheduled flights.  All because of Irene who turned out to be way less than anticipated (I guess that is a good thing, although she was nasty to a few of my relatives and she did cancel 4 of my flights resulting in my missing my first day of classes).

It has been a difficult transition.  I always miss the summer and I hate how DC is always my transition from carefree summer living in which I am lifeguarding at the beach every day to seriousness and responsibility — but this summer I feel more sad, somehow.  I don’t know exactly what it was about this summer, in whole it was generally uneventful, but something has me tied to it.  Perhaps it was the fact that I now have a total of five nieces and nephews I am used to seeing daily and now will rarely ever be with children.  Or perhaps I will just miss the people who I have become very connected with and now must say good bye to, for the time being.  Or maybe it’s because I just reallly hate school.

I started my new internship today, with ROC-DC (Restaurant Opportunities Center).  It is going to be verrrrrry different from Pathways, but I am actually excited.  It’s finally my time to work in policy and I am eager to dive in.  There will be other responsibilities, some I am sure I will not be overly excited about, and I do miss the opportunity to work on a day-to-day basis with those suffering mental illness and homelessness, but I am definitely excited that I am past my first year of ‘generalist’ work, which was largely clinical focused, and now into my niche — social justice/policy.  I’ve always hated ‘networkers’ but I am now eagerly awaiting my coalition responsibilities and getting to know others under the social justice umbrella.

Already I have that grim sense of being overwhelmed and a nagging desire to throw in the towel — too aware of how very injust a world we live in and too great an understanding of why — but the energy and passion and, above all, hope of those I interact with in the field….and the interactions with those who I will be advocating on behalf of, fuel my desire to push past such limitations and believe in the power of people and the worthiness of pursuing justice.  I do believe in a Universal connection and I must live with the conviction that a life spent pursuing just change must, eventually, be (at least) somewhat rewarded.

So, I already have a positivity in me that was lacking all of last year.  That has to account for something….?

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