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Another Tale from the Crypt

June 30, 2011

Some more from 5 July 2010, in fact, it followed what I just posted:

“What do I want to do with this experience?  I ask this of myself all the time, especially in the summer.  My life is what I make of it.  We are taught to grow up, we are to marry, buy houses and cars, work jobs 40 (ha!) or more hours a week and bare children.  This is what we are told life is.

I see life can be different.  I see this is not necessarily my life.  So, what is my life?  And how do I let go of the fear that I might not own a home or have a partner or children?

I guess, first, I can meditate on how no one actually owns a home.  We hold a piece of paper.  But as the Europeans signed papers with the Native Americans before raping, pillaging and murdering them, or just flat-out ignoring the treatise – if someone were to attack America or Amityville (present day add in: wha?!  Why’d I write: “or Amityville”??), so much that piece of paper is good for.

We created a system and we invented private property.  Humanity has made humanity into such materialistically/externally attached individuals.  These are the chains I wish to be free of.  Not just the external.  The pain of rejection and heart ache as well.  Another is not ours.

The only thing I can possibly declare ownership over is my soul.  My body is just temporary and therefore I cannot consider it mine.  But in the belief system I have thus far carved out, I believe I have a soul.  But do I possess my soul?

I think that is trying to make a concept my human mind cannot possibly comprehend into something a human can comprehend.  Make black and white of the unknown.

So, back to: What do I want?….” – Whitney Joy Howard, 5 July 2010

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