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29 June 2011

June 30, 2011

It’s an interesting thing – to struggle with the basic instinctual drive of humanity: survival.  Yet, many of us do.  And I don’t mean fives minutes of self-pity – I mean, so many of us daily or regularly (in some fashion) struggle with finding a balance between our innate desire to continue our life and our dare-devil obsession to lose it all.

I’m reading a collection of Hunter S. Thompson ramblings. He ended up committing suicide.  And he was a long-time on-the-fencer. He greatly struggled with his ‘will to survive’ vs. his ‘will to goodbye’. Not just a goodbye, though.  The obsessive nature of the demon refuses normalcy.  It is a great, long0drawn out fantasy of the most fascinating and perfect ending.

That is a beautiful thing.

In a life of so little control (none, really), how wonderful a thing to be able to choose your final goodbye?

The number of people who actually take such control far under numbers the amount who plan out that final curtain call….

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