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Let’s take back love.

November 3, 2010

Driving to school (ughhh) this morning I was thinking about peptides and how the whole ‘in love’ thing can really get boiled down to an addiction.  And then I was thinking about how miserable it is when you’re cut off.  And then I was wondering if they have AA for love addicts and the heart broken….

Anyway, so I’m driving along (at far too fast a speed that I really need to curb because the District sucks and keeps taking the money I don’t have for my nonconformist driving habits and there are only so many tickets you can try to fight by calling the ticketing officer a racist), feeling quite negative about love which is in conflict to this view I try to hold that the after life is pure love and pretty much in conflict with the current life I am setting out on in this social work profession — and I come back to something I know.  It’s not ‘in love’/addiction/peptide love I need to focus on or desire.  I’m in a place where that pure love of a human simply for being a human is pretty shut off and I feel darn right lousey as a result.  Oddly enough, I most notice it in how much less I smile.

We live in a divided world of ‘us’ vs. ‘them’.  We need enemies.  There are power and economic reasons ‘we’ need enemies and there are the reasons we are told we need enemies.  So we have this polarized world and the fear keeps mounting.  And the poor get poorer.  And the richer get richer.  And people sleep with guns under their pillows and don’t make eye contact with the grocer.

But then there are also people who spend ridiculous sums of money to go into the helping professions and intern 20 hours a week for no pay because they believe in the worth and dignity of every soul.  Because they have love for humans simply for being human.  And there are people who stop to help someone who has tripped on the horribly paved District sidewalk or road.  And there are little kids who give up their metro seat for an older woman and ask 26 year old white females if they’re sisters with the 42 year old African-American woman they live with.  And when they’re told no ask if they’re cousins.

We live in a society focused on the fear and the other and the dividing aspects of social constructs.  Yet we all preach love.  We use it to further our agenda.  To brainwash.  To manipulate.  This need not be the case.  There is beauty in the world.  There always has been and there always will be — whether it is going to end in a year or centuries from today.  And there is beauty in people.  Yes, some more than others.  But we have to see it and we have to feel it and we have to celebrate it.

In my Diversity class we have to write these journals to work on our self-awareness.  A part of the exercise is, after pointing out things we missed in the moment but later gained some awareness of, to give specifics as to actions we will take to work on our…lack.

Today I fully realized that in my knee-jerk reaction of closing my heart because of the ‘in love’ pain, I’ve closed my heart to the pure love oneness.  So, my corrective action?  Take back love.  I don’t want to fear.  I don’t want to be hate-filled.  I don’t want to be bitter.  I want to love.

 

What I really consider love: A PiperWhat I really consider love: A Piper

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. November 3, 2010 3:07 pm

    I thought it was funny that after reading “Take Back Love” your next post was titled “I have a new hate” 🙂

    The one thing I LOVE about you, is your ability to find beauty and goodness in so many things. No one can take that away from you – even if they try!

  2. November 3, 2010 8:34 pm

    There is only one thing you love about me?! haha Thanks. I LOVE many things about you, btw. Especially how amazing of a friend you are.

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