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October 31, 2010

Back living in D.C.  Finafreakinly!!  Although the area (H St NE) is wayyyy too hip for me, I still like it 😉  It really is such a beautiful city.  I have leaved in D.C. on and off for eight years now and I have yet to tire of seeing the Monuments and Memorials and all the old, old buildings that look new.  I love rounding a corner and seeing the Capitol either right in front of me or in my rearview mirror.  Or standing in front of it as Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert do…their thing…as Yusuf Islam (formerly Cat Stevens) and Ozzy Osbourne musically duel….

Birthday shout out to my dear friend Rachel Humphreys — Happy Happy Birthday lovely!!

Still hating school, but it’s November in a few minutes and if the past few months are any indicator this month is going to fly by and then the semester will be OVER.  Unfortunately I still have three left.  I really just want to take off and meet people and write my book.  Writing a book is definitely, definitely, definitely at the top of my: To Do Before I Die.  So the sooner I get to that, the sooner I can get to this inevitable dying thing….;)  Sorry sorry….

I haven’t had much inspired thoughts this past month.  Currently I’m feeling rather sad — living too much in a past memory.  Haunted by my past’s view of a future I am not currently living.  Mourning the loss of the friends who are still living.  That relationship I just can’t fully let go of.  No matter how rationally I understand it and can break it down.  Emotions are far stronger than intellect.

I just don’t have the free time i used to anymore and it is majorly kicking my butt.  I just want to sit around philosophizing about my beliefs and coming into some kind of personal insight, but I don’t have time!  I hate it.  I feel like I have no handle on my life or mind or desires right now and I keep telling myself, wait a little longer and you’ll have the time to sit down and figure it all out.  But, it’s not something I should be putting off.  So why am I?  I have never been one to shy aware from emotionally wavy territory, so why am I now?  I just feel….different these days.  Just sad and misplaced.  Unfamiliar.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. November 2, 2010 1:16 am

    Glad you’re loving being back in the city 🙂 I thought of you while I emptied the dishwasher tonight haha.

    Someone told me once about the philosophy, “Be Here, Now.” I thought it was simple and brilliant. At that time, I was rarely thinking about where I was in the moment and the people I was with or things I was doing. I don’t know, your post made me think about that. Don’t let the past define who you are now. And make time to write that book!

  2. November 2, 2010 2:10 am

    Weird. I read that post and was thinking about it either yesterday or today. I used to be really in that place — when I lived at the Cat with Laura — but we are ever changing and….the problem I’ve faced being here now the past…many months now is that I don’t really like the now and don’t want to be in it. I tried finding something wonderful every day but it got annoying, exhausting and artificial. I dunno. Thanks for being my 1 reader 😉 Miss you and looking forward to House next week!

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